Everyone get excited because it’s time for another post about weird, interesting, funny book titles! Ok, fine, maybe it’s not that exciting, but it’s a fun post at least, and fun is always a good reason to get excited :-D
Anyway, as someone who spends a lot of time on Goodreads and the ebook section of Amazon and NetGalley and basically every other bookish site out there, I inevitably come across some entertaining book titles, and of course I want to share them with you all!
1. An Etiquette Guide to the End Times by Maia Sepp
I wasn’t aware we would need etiquette in the end times. Are there rules for how to hold our machetes when we approach people? How long we have to wait until cannibalism becomes acceptable? Now that I think about it, a guide would come in quite handy!
2. Nice Girl Don’t Date Dead Men by Molly Harper
Not nice girls, just necrophiliacs and main characters in paranormal romance novels ;-)
3. Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters by Angel Martinez
I wasn’t aware that lime gelatin qualified as a monster. Good to know!
4. Please Don’t Eat the Penguins by Robert P. Hansen
Wasn’t planning on it! Unless maybe it’s the end times and I don’t have any other food. Is penguin-eating covered in the guide?
5. Time Traveling with a Hamster by Ross Welford
Well, I suppose if you’re going to time travel, might as do it with a pet! And hamsters seem like pretty sturdy little creatures. I once watched one in a pet store get his wheel moving so fast that he literally rode it all the way around. I’ve also watched videos online of a hamster doing back flips off his food bowl, sometimes onto his head. I also had one as a pet when I was five that somehow escaped his cage (which was on a desk) one night and made it all the way across the house to my mom’s bedroom. That little guy must’ve free-fallen like three feet just to get to the floor. Sturdy, I tell you.
6. Practical Demonkeeping by Christopher Moore
Thank goodness for this because I would hate for anyone’s demonkeeping to be done in an impractical way.
7. Zombies and Shit by Carlton Mellick III
Author: “Man, I really can’t figure out what to title this book.”
Person: “Well, what is your book about?”
Author: “Zombies and shit.”
Person: “That’s perfect! You should definitely call it that.”
8. Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She’s Dead by Christiana Miller
9. The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisasbeth Tova Bailey
I’ve always loved snails. When I was a kid, I once made a snail playground in a plastic container filled with things for them to climb on. They loved it so much that I literally couldn’t get them out and finally gave up and just put the box outside because they were clinging on so tight that I was afraid I was going to pull their shells right off. Those wild snails sure do like to party.
10. Dracula vs. Hitler by Patrick Sheane Duncan
In a cage match? A board game tournament? A triathlon? A world war? Whatever it is, my money’s on Dracula ;-)